Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
