its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.