I hate your face
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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