If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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