i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
