remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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