he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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