and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
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I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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