Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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