stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Are we still banned from the library?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
