She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
