So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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