Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
