I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
