I think i peed on brittanys purse
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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