Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
