So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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