You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
