Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
