We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
