there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
