Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
