What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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