I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I love you. Go after that dick
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
