k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
