If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize