Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize