the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
soo... how was my night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
