There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
