It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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