what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
