Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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