i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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