I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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