remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
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I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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