fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
