I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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