after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
