About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
