Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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