Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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