It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
