Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
