I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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