i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
