Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
