I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
