So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.