Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it

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  (647): he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it http://tfl.nu/1z9x
  Replies (13) Good night (4522) Bad night (1763)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.

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  (802): I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover. http://tfl.nu/tbtl
  Replies (10) Good night (5827) Bad night (1808)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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  (954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk
  Replies (15) Good night (1071) Bad night (5882)
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  (949): View more from California

  I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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  (949): I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping? http://tfl.nu/8mwq
  Replies (7) Good night (3494) Bad night (1243)
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  (213): View more from California

  You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40

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  (213): You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40 http://tfl.nu/gfeh
  Replies (6) Good night (4106) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.

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  (845): This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink. http://tfl.nu/qaqf
  Replies (5) Good night (2522) Bad night (892)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME

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  (443): EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME http://tfl.nu/5t87
  Replies (2) Good night (2132) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.

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  (647): Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out. http://tfl.nu/ghi2
  Replies (12) Good night (490) Bad night (1068)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?

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  (610): Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/63qi
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (508)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.

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  (417): Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail. http://tfl.nu/0q6b
  Replies (3) Good night (1204) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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  (505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf
  Replies (0) Good night (1192) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong

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  (713): I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong http://tfl.nu/72i1
  Replies (1) Good night (448) Bad night (631)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave

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  (919): he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave http://tfl.nu/tg51
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.

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  (512): I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like. http://tfl.nu/zkry
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes

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  (206): he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes http://tfl.nu/42iw
  Replies (0) Good night (763) Bad night (258)

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