I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.