i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel