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• (360): View more from Washington

  She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.

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• (951): View more from California

  Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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• (925): View more from California

  never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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• (818): View more from California

  She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  We're knee deep in HJ's right now.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball

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• (559): View more from California

  He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom

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