You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
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I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to