Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize