Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
