You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i out mim tonsoeep
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
