She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
