He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize