Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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