normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We are all done wearing pants today
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
