i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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