I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
