I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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