Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
