Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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