I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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