She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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