So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
