went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
