I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
