She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
